2023 extreme shit game, selling 60 yuan in Nintendo store.

Two days ago, Xiaofa bought a game at Nintendo’s Eshop, which almost made me angry.

Originally, I naively thought that "The Lord of the Rings: Gollum" was the god of the defense game in 2023, but after playing this game, I found myself still too young.

It is The Last Of Hopes.

A knockoff game with a thimble on the cover. The price of Hong Kong clothes is HK$ 69.

A sharp-eyed poor friend may not be able to hold his breath when he sees the cover.

Because from the cover to the content, this brand has won the doomsday survival game "The Last Survivor" of the Sony family.

Regardless of the font and typesetting of the title, the image of the protagonist Ellie is exactly the same.

This is the original cover of Last Survivor.

At the beginning, Xiaofa did go with a curiosity.

After all, the fact that "Sony First Party" appeared in Nintendo Store was quite enjoyable.

And play zombie games, even if it is spicy chicken, it can be a cool swim.

Not to mention the free game "Dead Silence" developed by UP Jiacheng at Station B, Zhu Yu is in front, and Xiaofa naturally thinks that this kind of game has a guaranteed experience.

However, after playing The Last of Hopes, I must apologize to Mr. Ji Jiacheng for insulting him.

Because the characteristics of the game described by the developer in the introduction have nothing to do with this game at all.

Even you can see their lack of vocabulary. In four sentences, the word fascinating is used twice.

Let’s talk about it one by one, first of all, this so-called plot and narrative.

In 2023, everyone always said that they were tired of broadcasting films and the plot animations that could not be skipped.

Therefore, the developer of this game should have an insight into the player group, and put a PPT with words and pictures directly at the beginning to tell its doomsday background.

And just look at the picture below, and there is a foreshadowing behind it.

There is no BGM in the game, and there is no dubbing. There is no other language except English.

Fortunately, there is nothing difficult to chew, and Xiaofa can barely understand the plot at this level, so the problem is not big.

At the end of the day, it’s still a story of zombies breaking out and the protagonist playing zombies.

The following is the key point, that is, the graphic performance of the developer’s mouth.

I’ll show it to my friends first. I can only say that the picture quality is not as good as that of a snake.

Yes, the function of the Switch is lame, and the picture is rough. Everyone is used to it.

But the modeling of this college student’s homework level makes Xiaofa wonder which newly unearthed engine was used in the studio.(but it’s actually Unity).

All kinds of materials are brightly copied and pasted, which is already a state of no back.

Although the game highlights the four walls of a family from the plot to the picture, so far, the small return is tolerable.

After all, I don’t pick games, and it’s not a problem to have a few hundred million flaws.

What really annoys me is what the manufacturer calls "fascinating game mechanism".

First of all, there is no hint in this game. After entering the game for the first time, I have no idea what I should do.

I controlled the characters to come to the street after the virus broke out. Facing the zombie who drew a circle with his left foot and kicked his right foot, the first thing the protagonist with his bare hands had to do was not to find a weapon to defend himself first, but to say,"I’m hungry, just find some food.".

But don’t tell me, there really is a supermarket after walking aimlessly for a few blocks.

But as soon as I entered the supermarket, I was completely broken.

Regardless of the impression of this supermarket, let’s say that the protagonist can’t take anything from the canned food and drinks in this place.

Only one task prop can be used to restore the blue "energy bar" at the top left of the screen.

But this energy bar, running will consume, attacking will consume, but it will not automatically recover, and it can only rely on the task props just now.

And after I ate it, the props disappeared, well, once I ate it, it was gone. . .

So to put it bluntly, the protagonist can’t run and act quickly at all, because the energy bar is simply not enough.

After being out of the supermarket in a daze, Xiaofa found a pistol in the police car at the door, and finally he had a weapon.

As for the shooting feel, it is better to play a slingshot.

Then the system immediately prompts you to find a girl.

Yes, this girl is "Ellie".

We will find Ellie in a church, but in this game, the girl’s name is Eva.

The subtitle is also called Eve, and it’s not.

Then the dog blood came, and Eva said she was going to find medicine.

At this time, the plot suddenly said that the character controlled by the player was her long-lost father.

This level of dialogue, poor friends feel for themselves. . .

Then, the most adverse part of the game came.

After the player finds the little girl, they need to act together. Like The Last Survivor, the girl will follow the protagonist’s ass, but she will also be attacked by zombies, so the protagonist must always keep an eye on her and protect her.

But this game AI behaves like a retarded person. As long as a zombie is detected around, the girl will immediately squat in the same place.

At this time, the player must clear the zombies and save the little girl.

When you meet a zombie, you will be beaten.

But sometimes, even if Xiaofa knocks down all the zombies, the little girl is still motionless.

With this setting, I can hardly move, because the little girl also has blood, and the game will end when she dies.

Another is that the game is in the process of solving puzzles and opening menus. Like Black Soul, the game will not really pause, and the enemy will still act normally.

For example, there is a puzzle solving part, which requires the player to unlock the lock in the zombie pile and take the bullet.

I have failed many times, because Xiaofa is still solving puzzles every time. Either I die or the little girl is eaten by zombies.

Just after opening the lock, I was kicked by the zombie circle.

And the little girl Eva can’t be protected at all, because the resources of this game are extremely scarce.

Whether it’s blood medicine or bullets, it’s not enough and there’s no place to get it. As long as you meet a zombie, you must fight it, or Eva will start squatting in the same place with her head in her arms, as if she had been detained.

So, she didn’t move, and I couldn’t kill the zombie, and the game fell into an infinite loop.

The process that took less than 20 minutes was stuck forever, and I was so angry that I wanted to give a golf club to the developer.

With such a spicy chicken game, Xiao Fang spent more than 60 RMB, and his mood was as uncomfortable as eating a defense.

It’s just that I’m more curious about who developed this defense.

After understanding, boy, it is a studio called VG games, from the Republic of Moldova.(A country bordering Ukraine)Kirchner Wu’s team, I don’t know, thought it was a domestic game time.

Moreover, they are even a full platform studio.

Works have been sold on Steam, iOS, NS and PS platforms.

There are quite a few team members. According to the description, the employees are all aged 15+.

In just one year, they have developed several dung crops in succession, and four new works are under development.

It’s not over yet. The company’s official website is full of job advertisements.

If you just look at the description, it seems that it is still a game company with good welfare, and it is thirsty for talents.

But the pictures they use, the more they look, the more wrong they are.

Remember the screenshot of the game that Xiaofa said in the previous article?

That’s right, just like VG games official website’s drawings, they are all generated by AI.

There is a picture, as long as it is the plan they use, it is all full of AI flavor.

No wonder you can’t even see an art in the whole project.

Even the icons are generated by AI. . .

Regarding plagiarism, this company is also an old recidivist. Last year, they copied GTA and made a prison simulator. Needless to ask, it’s the same spicy chicken.

Xiaofa opened the official Twitter of "The Last Hopes" and found that someone still naively asked when the official could fix the BUG.

After the official reply, the netizen praised the game and even expressed his expectation for DLC content.

Tell Xiaofa it’s a performance, otherwise how can you boast?

In a word, Xiaofa can’t figure out how this spicy chicken game got on the shelves of Eshop store.

I still remember that in the past, it was quite difficult for third-party manufacturers to log on to Nintendo’s host platform, and the game content had to undergo strict review and rectification.

However, since the "Three Graves Machine" incident, Nintendo began to embrace indie games on NS, and gradually relaxed the review. As long as it is not full of bloody violence and other content, it will generally be allowed to be put on the shelves.

However, Xiaofa contacted the domestic "Portia Time" studio before, and they said that even if it is easy for Eshop to put the game on the shelves, it is still more complicated than Steam.

However, in recent years, Nintendo’s Eshop can always have some fun from time to time, such as a clock software that can’t do anything, but sells at a high price, which makes people doubt the rationality of the censorship system.

Some people say that as long as a development team has put a game on the shelves, the follow-up games will be easy to handle.

It is also said that there are all kinds of cottage software in the App Store. No matter how it is controlled, some people can exploit the platform after all.

As for what the truth is, Xiaofa doesn’t know.

Anyway, after a thorough complaint, I’m a little angry now, and I still don’t know how to tell the company’s finance about buying games for reimbursement.

In other words, this thing is not a game.

Its nature is no different from something on a treasure that has an IQ of +1 after placing an order.

I wanted to see the fake clown, but the clown turned out to be myself.Finally, Xiaofa just wants to say from the heart: RNM, refund the money!